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Posts Tagged ‘sustained’

It’s amazing, really.
Then again, grace is…

Were you to ask me how I’m feeling on a scale of 1-10, I’d probably say a 6. I’m still a bit feverish, my throat still hurts, the headache is dull and hovering, neither my energy nor mental capacity is at full bars and I’m dealing with dizzy levels 2 & 3 in frequent (though not constant) bouts. So I feel I’m at the upper end of “surviving.”

And yet I feel worlds better than yesterday. The vastness of the difference rather makes me want to get up and do flips or dance around… except I can’t because I’m too dizzy and don’t have the energy. Still, the difference in astounding.

But regardless of how I feel, the fact remains that I am sustained. And that’s grace.

I clearly remember thinking last evening as I turned the dial on my antique desk calendar – after an unusually rough day of exhaustion and tears, one of those days where you can’t remember any good days before it or see the possibility of any good days yet to come – even in that moment at close of day as my fingers held the cool metal knob and my mind struggled still and again to focus on Jesus, I knew without a doubt that He was present… sustaining… enough.

Even though the day seemed more loss than victory… through the struggle and the grief and the runaway emotions and the spinning… and at day’s end even though I felt hedged in, pressed hard, perplexed, unable to find a way out, pursued (by fears and anxieties) and struck down, I was still breathing and Jesus was still there. I was not irreparably crushed, I was not completely despairing, I was not abandoned and I was not destroyed.

It was not the joyful, victorious living that I too-often prefer and picture in my head, full of pushing through and Eye-Of-The-Tiger accomplishments… but I was sustained.

And that’s grace.

Jesus is enough.
And because I know that Jesus was enough on a day like that,
I know Jesus is enough on any day.

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