Archive for September, 2008


So Mom is going through the (dozens of) old home videos that they brought back in from Pap’s.  It’s been a blast watching them.  Some as old as 1989, a few as late as the early 2000’s.  It’s wild to watch myself (and my relatives) and to hear how different my voice sounded (well, all our voices before puberty) and to see how I acted.  I have some of the same mannerisms.  Hopefully I’m not as ungrateful opening gifts today as I was then… and hopefully not as whiny (though I wonder).  I do realize I’m as easily bored, easily distracted, as unsocial and just as weird as I was then.

But that’s not why I turned my computer back on to write this.
It was 1991.  We were celebrating a birthday and my cousins and I got to talking about “when I’m such-and-such an age.”  The (first) Gulf War was going on and my brother was on a ship over there.  In the background of the video (camera was focused on the adults but we kids were eating in the connecting room) we could hear our conversation.  I was apparently telling them about a dream – or perhaps it wasn’t and I was just making it up as I went.
I said that “10 years from now I’ll be in college watching the news on TV” and (if) the Gulf War was still going on I’d turn off the TV and say “I’m gonna end this thing” and I’d open the door to my dorm and my brother would be standing there saying “it’s over.”
The irony, perhaps, is that though the Gulf War was long over, it was 10 years later, in 2001, when America came under attack it led into another war over in the Middle East.
I wonder what happened to my childlike idealism and resolve that led me to say “I’m gonna end this thing”??

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